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A new weekly feature where I take snaps of crazy shit while buying groceries. It makes a mundane task really fun, and doesn’t at all make me look like a psycho taking pictures of yams that look like yogurt-slingers.

Seriously. In every pile of sweet potatoes, there is at least one poor bastard shaped like an old man wang. I don’t think I could peel this frigger without feeling dirty.

What yam I?

Oh wicked. A creepy, thumbless hand to get all up in your beef taco or creamy noodle.

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Oh look. Naturally flavoured MIXED BERRY cereal that contains ZERO PERCENT FRUIT. Well that’s just lovely. Nice touch with the raspberries standing triumphantly atop the multigrain frosted pillow of deliciousness there b’ys. Obviously you need to add those fuckers yourself because there is ZERO PERCENT FRUIT in this bag. Nothing like a steaming pile of LIES with a side of DECEIT to complete a well-balanced breakfast. Just as well to stog your face with bacon. At least the bacon people aren’t fucking with you.

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Well what have we here? Tea that will knock you out cold. And maybe turn you into a bear. If you need help going to sleep, try Sleepytime herbal tea while listening to a blue radio. And if you really want to slip into a coma like a hibernating grizzly, try Sleepytime EXTRA. You will nod off next to a raging fire, which is totally safe. And don’t forget the cat on your lap. Nothing like a tea-induced catatonic state to bring all the pussies to the yard, yo.

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Why is there a kid in that box? Holy fuck Choke-Me-Out-Elmo. Sesame Street, you’ve gone too far this time.

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THIS. What the fuck. Ginger sushi? Look Asians, stop trying to fool us with your fancy labels. This is most definitely a bottle of vaginas.

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